thatgrrrl's Diaryland Diary


a change will do you good

Tomorrow, I'm off work. Movers are coming at 8:30 to rearrange big heavy furniture, and Ed will be coming over probably around 9:30 to help me test out the new arrangement. When I asked D if that was ok with him, for Ed to come over tomorrow, he said, [shrug] sure (with an implied 'whatever' that I could hear).

And just to be clear about it, I wasn't really asking his PERMISSION, it was more about being considerate and letting him know that I wanted this visit to happen, but if he had had a real big problem with it, then I would have either said, ok, that's fine, or tried to get him to tell me what his problem with it was and tried to persuade him.

It has occurred to me to wonder just what it is about this relationship with Ed makes me want him so much. Is it just the sex, which totally blows me away? Is it the fantasy of Daddy and his Kitten, and all the imaginary history we have that he tells me about, which leads to the incredible sex? Or is there more that will become apparent as time goes on and we get to know each other better? I hope there is, I would like it to become a well-rounded full-fledged relationship. I want him to be more than just a fuck-daddy. (I just made that term up).

Of course, if all it is is the incredible kissing, the amazing sex, the fantastic fantasies..... Well, gee, darn, guess I'll just have to SUFFER for a while. ;) A couple years at least.

A week from tomorrow is the day that NS and the boy, henceforth known as JE, arrive. Their stuff that the movers are moving should arrive around July 1. And then, they'll be here. For the foreseeable future.

I'm looking forward to it. However, I know it's going to be a period of adjustment for me, and probably for all of us. JE starts school on July 18, I think he'll be in 4th grade (?). Not sure about that. But having them here will make it easier when things are hard, and D won't have to go anywhere to visit her, and I'll have my own room (looking forward to that a LOT) and there will be more people to be responsible for things, other than me, which will be good too. Plus, and this is the BEST thing, NS cooks!

I've always said I need a wife... I think I'm going to get one. And the best kind of wife too, someone I like, I get along with, but no sexual interaction, and she COOKS!!!!

She will be contributing to the household budget, probably about $300/month, which will cover any additional food costs, plus maybe allow us to pay down on the car loan, so we can get a CRV a little sooner. When I went to the wedding on Saturday, got to ride in my ex-boss-lady's 2005 CRV... it's really nice. I want one. But right now, we owe more on the Accord loan than the bluebook value. Upside-down, they call that. Of course, we could just try to sell it ourselves, and use that to pay off the loan and hopefully have a little bit of a downpayment on the CRV. I need to talk to a lady at work who did that and got what she wanted on her old car.

I think that's about it for tonight.

6:36 p.m. - 2005-06-20


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