thatgrrrl's Diaryland Diary


not so bad after all, I suppose

I have had one fuzzy navel in a big plastic cup, and am working on the second one of the evening, because my day kind of sucked a little bit, because it's Friday, it's payday, and I"m (WAY) over 21 so I'm allowed.

I was going to have lunch with Ed. Note the past tense, implying that that did not in fact happen. Which, it did not. Why? Because there was vomiting. Again. Or rather, still. Vomiting by the spousal unit. His, not mine.

Wednesday, he cancelled our therapy appointment because she stayed home from work vomiting. Fine. I was ok with that. Yesterday, she was still sick, but he went golfing all day long. Um, ok, I guess.

Today, she went to work, then came back home and vomited some more, and he cancelled our lunch date, because he didn't want to get too far away from her.

But it was ok yesterday to go golfing all day???? I don't get it.

When he cancelled the lunch today, he said we can get together tomorrow morning at the lake at 10. However, I haven't heard from him since the cancellation which was at about 10am, except for a "thinking of you" message he sent from his phone shortly thereafter.

Yeah. Not sure what to think. So instead of thinking, I'm having a drink. Shortly, I will go read, and eventually, round about 9 or so, get sleepy and go to bed. See what happens in the morning. Or doesn't.

So, there ya go.

Later, chatting with Ed online....
(other stuff)
Ed: are you in bitchy mood??
ThatGrrrl: no, was just kind of down cuz we didn't get to have lunch today and I was so looking forward to it.
Ed: oh am sorry kitten
Ed: really I am
ThatGrrrl: and I got scared. stupidly scared.
Ed: about?
ThatGrrrl: that you didn't want to see me.... it's just stupid.
Ed: well maybe not stupid but not true
Ed: so dont worry kitten
ThatGrrrl: I'll try....
ThatGrrrl: sometimes I feel so secure in your love... and sometimes not so much... and there's really no reason not to.
ThatGrrrl: most times I feel very secure...
Ed: well know that I love and care for you but things come up that prevent getting to be with you that we neither can control
Ed: doesnt mean I dont want to
ThatGrrrl: I know, sweetie.... I really really do...
Ed: just means we cant
Ed: for whatever reason
Ed: so rest easy
ThatGrrrl: ok, I'll do my best not to worry..... if you ever don't want to see me, you'll tell me that, right...?
Ed: I dont foresee that but I will if it ever happens
Ed: til that day be confident I am with you
ThatGrrrl: I hope it never does.....
ThatGrrrl: Ok, I'll do my best not to worry.
Ed: well not in the future as I see it
Ed: ok
Ed: I know you are monthly and grouchy so I will chalk it to that
ThatGrrrl: that's probably wise....

So... I feel a little better about it all.

8:36 p.m. - 2005-08-26


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