thatgrrrl's Diaryland Diary


Thanks, but no...... good luck with that

my email this morning to RF:

Dear Sir,

I'm having thoughts, some of which might even be called reservations. The first and biggest one of them is your own reservations about my relationship with my husband and his other wife. It concerns me that you feel this is abusive to me, when I don't feel that it is.

A secondary concern is your time, or apparent lack thereof. Will you have time for me if we make this into a real relationship? Will you have more time than you seem to right now?

My third concern is perhaps based on lack of knowledge. I have no experience with a "high protocol" Dominant. I don't know if I will love it, or hate it. I do have experience with a loving dominant, and I know that I love that. I don't know if the two are both part of you or not.

I don't feel like I'm getting to know you very well. I understand that we're still in the early stages of whatever this might turn out to be, but right now, I feel like I'm standing still, rather than making any progress toward the future.

Sir, I'm not throwing down any gauntlets here, rather communicating some thoughts and feelings that I'm having.


then some discussion in yahoo chat.... and then a little later, I got this from him:

Hello pretty one,
I thought that I would use this email to chat as it is a little easier, than to try and bounce back and forth on IM.

you are a wonderful girl, and a pretty one at that. you are going to make a Dom exceedingly happy, and proud one day, really and truly. Unfortunately, it will not be me.

I do like you pretty one, and did enjoy our time when we met to chat. But I think with your penchant for analyzing things, the between time from physically seeing each other will be hard on both of us. We have only known each other for a couple of weeks tops, and we are already discussing issues with a relationship. We have not had time to feel good with each other and be happy spending time.

I am not dismissing your concerns, issues, worries etc., if you feel them, then they are important, I just do not understand them this early in our time together.

Between the above and my feelings about your situation, I think things are doomed from the start. If I had known about your extended family moving in, I would have dealt with this earlier.

sweet one, you are a wonderful girl, and I wish you the best of luck, and welcome chatting anytime that you wish.


And so, it's back to the search. I contacted one guy that had contacted me a week or so ago, and another one that I saw on c0llarme this morning. I updated my profile thusly, based on a couple things that I learned from the experience with RF:

Looking for an intelligent, caring, dominant play partner in the area.

I am 41 and feel that it's time for me to get some of what I want, what I need, what I desire, what I crave. And what I crave is that intensity of feeling, the kind of experience that makes my eyes roll back in my head and makes me speak in tongues.

My preference is for older men, but that is by no means set in stone.

I have a woman-loving streak a mile wide, but have never been successfully topped by a woman. I'm certainly willing to try again.

I am married and my husband knows of my desire to seek a play partner, I am honest with him and with all others in my life. My husband and I have a completely platonic relationship, so if my play partner and I wanted to have (safe!) sex, that would be a nice bonus.

My marriage is unusual to say the least, and you should be ok with poly relationships, because I am. I don't expect you to be poly with me, but you must be ok with me being ok with my husband being poly. I can explain that later if we decide to pursue this.

I started playing in the Dom/sub game over 10 years ago, but (unfortunately) haven't had much of it in the last few years, because my husband has gotten out of playing that game, not just with me, but with anyone.

I'd like to have a relationship based on a loving and nurturing type of strictness, like a Daddy, not a cold and stern type of strictness, like a principal. I want to be cherished and praised and punished when necessary. I try my best to be a good girl, but I do have a naughty streak and a somewhat twisted sense of humor, as well as a very quick wit.

Some of my favorite things to do while submitting to someone include kneeling at their feet, knife play, ice, hot wax, having my hair pulled and being kissed hard. There are, of course, many others, but those are the ones that come instantly to mind.

I'm not a demanding sub, but I do like a certain amount of attention. I try to keep a balance between work, home life, and play activities. Communication via email and/or IM is important. I want to get to know you, and have you get to know me that way.

In my day-to-day life, I'm heavily into computers. I love to read, when I can tear myself away from my computers. I am a cat person by nature, but dogs are nice too. I like a capella music and listen faithfully to Bob & Tom on the radio. I love to see live comedians, and watch Jeopardy every night. I'm a member of Mensa, and I have reddish-brown hair and brown eyes. I'm 5'2", 41 and luscious. I'm more comfortable in jeans and t-shirts than in fancy clothes.

So, we'll see how it goes.

4:23 p.m. - 2005-04-24


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